Safe Place

Communities all share a concern about the safety and welfare of their youth and search for ways to keep their young people safe. Project Safe Place is a program designed to provide access to immediate help and safety to young people at risk of abuse, neglect or serious family problems. It is a cost-effective program offering youth and their families access to counseling and effective resolution to their conflicts before their situation escalates beyond their control. Businesses and community buildings are designated as Safe Place sites and prominently display a distinctive yellow and black Safe Place logo. Any youth can walk into a Safe Place and let an employee know that they need help. They are quickly connected with Tahoe Youth & Family Services, who can provide the help they need.

The South Lake Tahoe Safe Place Project is coordinated by the Tahoe Youth & Family Services Street Outreach Team. The team is a dynamic group of youth and adults who partner to act as a resource team to the youth on the South Shore. The Outreach team provides a listening ear and referrals to agencies and services that can help.

TIPS FOR PARENTS AND CARING ADULTS
The tips outlined in this brief guide are designed to help you, as a parent or caring adult, cope with a troubled youth or one who has run away from home.

PREVENTION

• The best way to prevent a youth from feeling alone, isolated and insecure is to spend time with your youth and listen.
• Give your children your full attention when they need to talk. Put down the paper, turn off the TV and let dinner wait. Make your responsiveness a top priority.
• Take your children seriously. Don't dismiss their worries or fears.
• Model a respectful way of communicating that you would like for your teen to use with you.
• When discussing touchy issues (dating, driving, curfews) try to remain calm.
• Confront trouble directly, firmly and calmly. Remain firm on central values (such as no drug use) while bending on less critical issues (hair or clothing). Your teen will stop confiding in you if you are constantly judging his or her behavior.
• Permit expressions of ideas even if they are different from your own.
• Try not to take your teen's mood swings too personally.
• If you are worried about something you think or feel may be going on with your youth, talk with teachers and parents of their friends. They may have helpful observations and insights.
• If you tell your teen that he or she can talk to you about anything, then mean it. Help from outside sources and counseling professionals can help you become more comfortable talking to your teen about sensitive subjects such as sexuality.

WARNING SIGNS
It's easy to confuse signs of trouble and normal adolescent turmoil. When real problems are in the making, the signs outlined here usually come in clusters. Observance of the signs should cause concern, but not undue alarm.

• Sleep changes: fatigue, early morning awakenings, insomnia, increased sleeping.
• Personality changes: abrupt mood swings, excessive blow-ups triggered by small things, apathy, boredom, irritability, preoccupation with a single thought.
• Withdrawal from the family: growing isolation, increased violation of rules, avoidance of family gatherings, even at meals.
• School problems: falling grades, truancy, cutting classes, fights and other disciplinary problems. These can lead to other high-risk activities such as drug and alcohol use.
• Withdrawal from friends: fallouts with friends, hostility toward former friends, new (older) friends, and reluctance to introduce parents to new friends.
• Difficulty coping with family transitions: prolonged reaction to loss or stress from death, divorce, illness, loss of job, a move to another city, etc.

Adults trust your feelings. Parents often have gut feelings when something is wrong. Trust those feelings and watch for these signs. If you observe any of these signs talk to your teen about what may be happening. Don't hesitate to ask for outside help for you, your teen and your family.

IF YOUR CHILD IS MISSING...

• Think clearly: Where might your child be? With a friend, relative, or divorced parent?
• Record: Keep a record of everyone you contact. Write down your own thoughts and feelings just to clear your head.
• Look for clues: Check his or her room for signs of preparation. Ask friends, teachers, and coaches for ideas. Check neighborhood hangouts. Know who your children's friends are and keep a list of their names, addresses and phone numbers.
• Take action: File a missing person's report with local police and ask them to put information into the NCIC (National Crime Information Center) computer. It is important to have an up-to-date photograph of your child to provide the police. Contact your local youth shelter; they can help connect you with other reputable services in your area and can assist you in thinking through your plan of action.
• Remain calm: If your child calls: Show love and concern. If he or she is not ready to return home, give him or her the number of the local runaway center if you know it and the toll-free National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Either agency can help reunite you with your child. Suggest that they go to a Safe Place site if the program is available.
• When your child returns: Running is a child's cry for help. Unresolved family conflicts can lead to future running. It is a good idea to seek family counseling to solve the problems that led to your child running away. Prevent future runaway episodes by getting help now.